Monday, January 11, 2010

be kind to ourselves

good morning girls! i woke up at 6am this morning. its just one of those days where i miraculously jumped out of bed. i made myself a cup of hot milk tea, went back to my room and sat for about 40 mins. did my usual routine. opening verses, set an intention, followed by the shakyamuni mantra. then i decide to do a bit of contemplative meditation. there are basically 2 types of meditation: shamatha (in sanskrit). in tibetan, the term is 'shi-ne'. it focuses on a single object of concentration, like the breathe or candle flame etc. the other is vipassana (in pali). the tibetan term is 'lhagthong'. this method is where you contemplate on certain topics to allow oneself to gain insights. you can meditate on loving-kindness, emptiness, impermanence etc. good qualities basically.

so anyway. this morning i chose the topic 'trust' to meditate upon. lately this is the topic i am exploring. i was talking to my teacher about the word 'confident' which kept popping up lately. he asked me to check the root word meaning. so i did. 'confidence' comes from the root word of 'confide'. and to confide means 'to place trust in someone'.

then i start to ask what is trust? and answers always pop up magically. last week i was randomly surfing youtube and came across a very interesting definition of trust in a teaching 'when trust is betrayed' given by zachoeje rinpoche. the word trust in tibetan means, 'giving a part of your heart'. wow isnt that beautiful? i feel thats the most beautiful way to define the word. the lama went on to explain that why its not about giving your whole heart. and that love is about inviting the other person into your heart, giving a space to the person. i really like that. he also makes a clear explanation of the difference between what is trusting someone and what is believing someone.

so anyway in my meditation i just pose questions or statements and let my mind mingle gently with them. i always feel this is like a brainstorming session i used to do everyday in advertising. opening your mind up to different directions and possibilities, keeping it flexible. and then slowly funneling it down with compassion, investigating it with wisdom into the most appropriate idea (which is truth here in meditation).

they say to trust others, one has to trust one self first. do you trust your self? how do you trust yourself? are you giving a part of your heart to yourself, the genuine authentic which might be buried deep within the outer you. are you allowing her a space to truly be herself?

oops i hope i am not making the start of the week a little too heavy for you (dont worry, i have new items preview coming up in the afternoon. haha). but they are good things to think (and feel) about when you have time on your own. remember to make some time for yourself no matter how occupied you are. have a compassionate week ahead. be kind to yourself.

oh it is softly drizzling here in lamma now. mr nyima went into hiding again today. the sound of raindrops on the canvas roof is gentle and soothing. but my stomach is growling quite ferociously. i am going to make breakfast.


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