Tuesday, December 01, 2009

how much can you see?

this afternoon i feel quite stressed over work so i decide to paint. it really helped. its my friend's birthday on the 9 dec, and she is flying over to celebrate with us, staying with me on lamma. yeah. so i want to give her my 'famous' pema (lotus) painting as a birthday gift becos a few years ago, she gave me a painting of my cat to me. she also paints.
today i put in the first shade of crimson for the petals. took me an hour. not too bad. there are at least 4 more shades of crimson to be added gradually from light to dark to make it come alive! its amazing how much more details i see when i paint. its as if my eyes are able to zoom into the smallest details ever, like a magnifying glass. but i think my teacher, miss yangzom's eyes is a telescope, the kind you can see the crater of the moon with. and its only when you truly see something (without your mind judging that is), that you are truly paying attention to something. but all this can only be experienced when you slow down and really subdue the mind and its jumpy thoughts. i love shading. especially in crimson colour. when my heart is calm, and when i can really channel full concentration with total awareness, i find myself drawn into the soft pinks shades, like i become very tiny and there are gigantic drapes in pink all around me. oh its hard to describe... it feels like the feeling when you look at this photo. but the minute i realized this thought or feeling, i am out again, pull back into my normal size body. haha. such glimpses allows me to experience what is truly being in the present, or a moment of being totally one with something. there is no edge, no boundaries, no yours or mine. all merged. like the blur center of this photo. its nice.
hm.. quite similar texture. the tissue and the petals.
nature does the best shading. widest range of shades all perfectly merged in harmony.

p.s. to marieke, GUESS WHAT, MISS DAKINI?!! i have the book 'magic dance' sitting right at home!! right in my house! it was and had been sitting within all my books for years, maybe 7 years... and i dun even know i have (well actually bought) this book! i have to shoot it and show you!!!
remember when i was reading your copy in the shechen garden, i found it so intriguing that i asked you to get one for me if you were to go thamel. today after drawing the pema, i was putting the drawing stuff back on the wine crate table, and saw 'magic dance' leaning against some books right beside the crate. i cant believe my eyes! MAGIC DANCE!!!!! it indeed danced its way to me magically. i cant even remember where or when i bought it! but it was a really really pleasant surprise.
now we can REALLY continue to dance our magic 'dakini' dance! hahaha... you should be home in amsterdam in 2 days time. 3 dec. exactly a month ago, i left. oh i wonder what you are feeling right. haha....


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