rest in peace

yesterday i heard a 'thud' against my bedroom window when i was sleeping. i thought i was dreaming.. it was about 8am i think. so i didnt give it much attention. when i woke up and went to the balcony to water the plants. i found a little bird lying motionless there. sigh..... that explained the sound. it had somehow hit against my bedroom window. i remembered it sounding like someone threw a beanbag on my window. i guess the imapct must be great for the little one. i feel so sad.... i picked him up, stroked him and chanted. made a little box for him and placed a string blessed by the dalai lama during my trip on him. i am going to find a peaceful place to bury him later.

i remembered thinking when i was in the shechen guesthouse garden in kathmandu last month, surrounded by playful little birds, how does it feel to hold a wild little sparrow in my hands? one never actually has a chance to hold or stroke a wild bird. sometimes the birds or butterflies in the garden would come so near, so very near and i would hold my breathe, hoping they then would not know i am a human being. and maybe then i would be so lucky to have one rest on me.

the feathers on the little body feels so soft. i stroked. everything is fragile.